Knockin' on Heaven's Door
by bambers2
Summary: When Dean discovers Sam is dying, he risks everything to be at his brother's side. Fifth story in the Angels and Demons series.
1. Chapter 1

_So as I said in the last Chapter of Blood Bonds, this next part of the Angels and Demons story is actually two separate stories, one is set in the past and the other the present. Thanks for reading. bambers;)_

_Chapter One  
_

"Dean, you just about ready to go?" Rowan impatiently called out after knocking on the bathroom door for the third time. Glancing at his Rolex, he let out an aggravated groan and rapped even harder on the sturdy wooden door. "Just to let you know, when most people say they're gonna take a quick shower, it usually means they're gonna be in there about twenty minutes, not an hour and a half."

Opening the door just far enough to stick his head out, Dean nudged his head toward his duffel bag. "Can you get me my clothes, Rowan?"

"Nope, get 'em yourself," the vampire huffed as he plopped down on a recliner and propped up his feet on the nearby table. "Told you we needed to be on the road by ten a.m. It's now eleven-thirty, an' you're not even dressed."

"I could be dressed in like two minutes if someone would get me my duffel." Dean forced a smile as he plodded across the thick carpeting and snatched his duffel bag off the floor. "An' it's not my fault if that's the best shower I've been in since . . . well, since forever. An' actually I took a bath." He shrugged, feeling a bit sheepish when Rowan rolled his eyes. "I mean, how could I not, it's like a freakin' swimming pool with whirlpool jets. An' that's not even to mention the lighted waterfall thing."

"I know what it looks like, Dean, it's my bathroom." Rowan glanced down at his watch again and tapped on it for emphasis. "Think you could hurry it up a little? Bobby and Joshua are waiting outside, an' we really need to get on the road." Normally Rowan wouldn't have begrudged his friend taking a little extra time getting ready especially since he was still recovering from nearly dying, but with Collin still missing and Sam in the hospital, the vampire's nerves were rubbed nearly raw.

He also wanted to be on the road before Jax somehow realized Dean was alive and tried to contact him about Sam. If Dean knew Lucifer had attacked Sam and the younger hunter was now in a coma, nothing would keep him from going to see his little brother. Rowan's stomach clenched at the thought of lying to his friend, but Dean needed to keep his mind focused on Joshua. With a little over four months left to go before his deal with Michael was completed, Dean still had a long way to go, and couldn't afford to mess up now.

Returning his attention to the younger vampire, Rowan shook his head in disbelief when he noticed tiny bubbles still clinging to Dean's hair. "God, please tell me you didn't take a bubble bath or I'm so gonna kick your ass."

"Dropped the shampoo in the water." Dean lowered his head as heat rose to flush his face. "An' what with the jets an' all, there were bubbles everywhere."

"Sure, princess, I believe ya." Rowan chuckled as he got to his feet and headed for the door. "I'm gonna go wait downstairs with Bobby. I'm sure he's gonna wanna hear about your bubble bath, so who am I to keep that kinda of information from him."

"You wouldn't dare." Dean quickly snatched up his clothes to get dressed before Rowan had a chance to tell Bobby or he would never hear the end of it.

"Sure I would, Bubble Boy," Rowan teased, then rushed out the door and slammed it behind him.

"God, please explain to me why I'm friends with him again?" Dean heaved a groan as he slipped on his boxers and jeans. He was about to pull on his t-shirt when he heard a cell phone start ringing. As it wasn't his, he took a quick look around the room, and spied Rowan's phone resting on the recliner where the vampire had just been sitting.

Crossing the room, he grabbed the phone, noticed it was Jax calling, and jabbed the button. "Hey, Jax, what's up?"

For several very long seconds all Dean could hear was Jax's shaky breathing, and then he finally uttered, "Dean?" An unmistakable sound of confusion registered in the younger hunter's tone as he added, "Dean . . . is that really you?"

"I'm not a Skinwalker if that's what you're askin'." Dean chuckled, trying to break the tension that he had inadvertently created when he answered the phone instead of Rowan. "How's Sammy doing?"

"How? I mean . . . what did he . . . how's it possible?" Jax stammered, completely ignoring Dean's question.

"How's what possible?" Dean raised a brow, now becoming concerned at the panic he detected in the younger hunter's tone.

"Rowan . . . he told me ya died. How'd he bring you back?"

"I have no freakin' idea what you're talkin' about." Heading to the window, Dean pried the blinds slightly apart and peered out at Rowan, Bobby and Joshua. _Damn it, no wonder I haven't heard from Jax until now. _"I don't know what he told you, Jax, but I never died . . . well, maybe I did for a minute or so, but it was definitely not in a salt an' burn my bones kinda way."

"I don't understand." Instead of sounding relieved, Jax seemed even more perplexed. "If you're alive why haven't ya come ta see Sam. I mean, I know you've got yer damn deal an' all, but he's been in a coma for like two weeks, an' at this point they're tellin' me he'll probably never wake up."

"He's what . . . wait, how . . . I don't understand?" Dean stammered, his heart lodging firmly in his throat, making it nearly impossible to catch his breath much less speak. Tears welled in his eyes, and slipped down his cheeks unchecked as he eyed the dark-haired vampire again.

"You – you really didn't know?" Jax asked in clear disbelief.

"If I had known, I'd be with my little brother right now instead of talking to you on the damn phone."

"God, I'm so sorry, Dean. Why didn't Rowan tell ya?"

"What hospital is he at?" Dean said in a hoarse whisper, ignoring Jax's comment as he dragged his hand down across his face, wiping away the tears.

"Presbyterian Hospital. He's registered as Sam Osborne. Third floor, room 346."

"I'll be there in like ten minutes." Dean snapped the phone shut, and heaved it at the wall, busting a hole in the drywall and breaking the phone into pieces. Yanking on his t-shirt and shoes, he snatched the car keys off the dresser, and bolted for the door. He flew down the stairs, taking them two at a time, and darted through the foyer and out the front door.

"Damn, Dean," Rowan chuckled as Dean leapt off the steps, and sprinted toward the black Chevelle Michael had given him. "I wasn't really gonna tell Bobby you were takin' a bubble bath."

Dean stopped short when he came face to face with Rowan, cocked back a fist and slammed it into his friend's face, followed quickly by a jab to the ribecage. "You sonuvabitch, how could you," he snarled as he drew back an arm to strike Rowan again, but Bobby caught hold of his arm mid-swing.

"Dean, what the hell's the matter with you?" the older hunter asked, tightening his hold on Dean's arm as he tried to shake free of his grasp.

"Ask Judas what he did, cause I don't have time to explain right now . . . Sammy's in the hospital dying . . . an' apparently I've been dead for several weeks now." Without saying another word to either man, Dean got in his car, started the engine, and peeled out of the driveway, leaving a trail of dust and gravel in his wake.

XxXxXxXxXxX

After breaking every traffic law known to man, Dean arrived at the hospital in record time. Out of the car in a shot he raced inside the hospital, and rushed to the elevator. Within a few moments, the door slid open and he climbed inside. Anxiously pressing the door close button, he was relieved when it finally slid closed and started moving toward the third floor. The door had barely opened for the third floor, and Dean was out of the lift and on the move again, searching every room number until he finally found the room his brother was in.

Taking a moment to catch his breath, and slow his rapidly beating heart, he chanced a glance in his little brother's room, and his heart lurched into his throat. Several machines surrounded the bed with tubes and wires extending from them to Sam. An intubation tube had been inserted into his mouth to deliver air to his lungs, while several leads had been attached to his chest. From beneath the tubing, Sam looked deathly pale, and for the briefest of moments, Dean thought he might have been too late, but then noticed his brother's chest slowly rise as air was forced into his lungs.

"If he wakes up and sees you, you'll go to straight to Hell," warned a deeply masculine voice from behind Dean, and without having to turn around he knew it was Michael. "Not that it'll stop you, but I thought it only fair to warn you."

"As I made both deals for him, it really doesn't matter anyway," Dean muttered brokenly as he turned to face the formidable archangel. "Is he . . . do you know if he . . . ." his voice trailed off, not wanting to even consider the possibility that Sam would die.

"To every man under the heavens, there is an appointed time in which he shall die. But whether it is Sam's time," he gestured toward the heavens, "only He can say."

Dean gave a curt nod of understanding, more tears welling in his eyes. "An' did you know this would happen when I made the deal with you?"

"Unlike Him, I can only see all the possible choices a man can make, but not the outcome of his actions. So, no, I didn't know Sam would end up here."

"Rowan knew an' he didn't tell me." A deep scowl formed on his features as he thought of the vampire he had believed was his friend, and mentally kicked himself for trusting in him so completely. "He knew my brother was dying, an' he jus' lied right to my face."

"I know it probably doesn't mean much to you right now, but he was only trying to protect you," The muscular, blue-eyed angel said as he placed a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder.

Dean shrugged free of his grasp, and glanced into his brother's hospital room again. "You're right, it doesn't mean a damn thing to me."

"You know," the dark-haired archangel began in a very condescending manner, "I had really thought you were beginning to learn something, but I see now that I was wrong." He crossed his arms, and shook his head as he glared at Dean, blue eyes gleaming menacingly in the dimly lit hallway. "You have no idea just how many people ask for His forgiveness everyday, an' yet when it's their turn to be forgiving they turn a blind eye toward those who need it the most."

"I'm pretty sure that would've probably meant a helluva lot more to me if jus' once you didn't find fault with every damn thing I do." Dean forcefully shoved the angel away from him, opened the door to his brother's room, and headed inside, calling back over his shoulder, "But seein' as none of you have ever forgiven me for any of the mistakes I've made, I think I'm pretty damn justified in saying that I never wanna see that sonuvabitch again."

For several moments, Dean stood at the doorway, afraid to move. He'd never seem in his brother so still or quiet. Pressing his eyes closed, he craned his neck and listened intently, needing to hear Sam's heartbeat. At first all he could hear was the beeping and humming of the machines keeping Sam alive, and then he finally zeroed in on the weak thrum of his brother's heart. He breathed a sigh of relief, and for once he was thankful that he was a vampire. _That's it, Sammy, you stay alive for me._

Slowly, he closed the gap that separated them, and ruffled Sam's shaggy, brown hair. A wry smile pulled at his lips as he recalled how many times he had teased his brother about his long hair. "Hey there, Tiger, it's been a while." Dean brushed the back of his hand across his cheek, wiping away the tears slipping down his cheeks. "Bet I'm probably about the last person you expected to see here."

Blinking back his tears, he looked around he room, and for the first time noticed Jax sitting quietly in the corner near the window. "Y-you been with him the whole time?" he somehow managed to choke out.

"They wanted to kick me out, but I told them I wasn't goin' anywhere till Sam left here with me," Jax replied with a weary smile, then covered his mouth and stifled a yawn. "Course I got this neat little mind control trick workin' for me now, so they pretty much jus' leave me alone."

"H-how bad is it?" Dean asked, and then held his breath as he waited for a response from the younger hunter.

Jax bit pensively at his lower lips as his gaze ticked from Dean to Sam and then back again. "They say he'll more than likely spend the rest of his life in a vegetative state."

"An' what does that mean?" Dean gripped hold of Sam's hand, and squeezed it reassuringly, praying that his brother would somehow realize he was there and wake up.

"I dunno, Dean. They used a lot of medical terms I've never heard of before, but by the way they looked at me, I know it can't be good."

Dean swallowed hard against the tight knot in his throat. "Wh-why didn't you heal him? You saved Becca . . . why don't you save him?" he uttered, trying his damnedest to remain strong, but felt his walls crumbling down around him.

"I tried, Dean," Jax's voice rose defensively as he once again looked to Sam, "ya have ta believe I tried an' tried. An' then Rowan . . . well, he kept comin' here everyday with new things for me ta try, but nothin' worked."

"Rowan was here?" Inwardly, Dean seethed, stomach churning at the thought that Rowan had gone behind his back to visit Sam in the hospital, and had never once mentioned it to him.

"Yeah, pretty much twice a day. Once really early in the mornin' an' then again later at night."

"Jax, can I have some time alone with my brother?" he asked, pushing aside his anger for a moment to focus on Sam. "It – it's been a while an' – "

"Ya don't need ta explain anything to me," Jax rose to stand, stretched his muscles, and then thumbed a finger toward the door. "I'll go an' get some coffee, an check on Luke." He trudged to the entrance, then paused and looked back at Dean. "I'm not gonna give up, ya know. If there's a way ta save him, I'm gonna find it, an' bring him back jus' like he was before."

A sad smile graced his features when he heard the undeniable sound of fierce determination in the younger man's voice. "Thanks, Jax."

"No thanks necessary, he's the closest thing ta family I've got, an' I'm not about ta let Lucifer take him from me, too."


	2. Chapter 2

_So, I hope everyone is still enjoying the angels and demons series...I really kinda liked this chappy, so i am hoping everyone else will as well!! thanks for reading and for all the really great reviews!! bambers;)_

_Chapter Two_

Lucifer leaned back in his seat, crossed his arms and watched as a dark-haired man entered the bar. The young man made a beeline toward the counter, and immediately ordered a shot of Jack Daniels. Throwing several bills down on the bar, he told the bartender to leave the bottle, and then hastily downed the first shot. Scrubbing a hand across his face, Lucifer smirked as he nudged his head toward the man.

"So that's Rowan's son." He quirked a brow as he looked to Belial and Killeon. "What do you think, Father? Will he be able to get the key?"

Belial glanced over his shoulder at Collin, then turned back in his seat, and with a smile he nodded at Lucifer. "With the information you're gathering from Sam while he hovers between life and death, I'd say it's possible."

"Why do we even need him?" Killeon eyed the younger man. Rolling his tongue over his fangs, he tasted blood in his mouth and his hunger instantly ignited. "Jus' let me kill him, an' I'll get all the parts of the key for you. Either way Rowan still suffers for betraying you."

"Evil can not touch the key or the Ark, you half-witted bloodsucker," Belial hissed, eyes glimmering fiery green. "It was our one mistake when we infused demon's blood into Sam. Now he can't get it for us either. So we need someone innocent, and Collin fits that bill perfectly."

"What so damn important about the Ark anyway?" Killeon blurted out in frustration, hunger overriding his judgment.

"Well, for one thing," Lucifer pushed forward in his seat, placed his elbows on the table and rested his chin against clasped hands. "It houses the Law of God, an' some would think that is pretty damn important."

"So you want to steal the Ark to take back the word of God?" Killeon's brows furrowed in confusion. "Seems pretty pointless to me, seein' as hardly anyone follows the Commandments anyhow."

"An' that's why there's gonna be a helluva lot of really surprised people when the end does come." Belial chuckled. "But it's not the reason we want the Ark."

"Then why?"

"There are other things . . . weapons of incredible power that practically no demon can fight against. God deems that Dean Winchester will have them to use against us. So we need to stop him from getting his hands on them before it's too late."

"Well, then I guess it sucks to be you, but why should I care if a bunch of demons get there asses handed to them?"

"Because." Lucifer sighed as he leaned closer to Killeon, narrowed his eyes and made a subtle gesture with his fingers. Killeon clutched at his throat as blood spilled from his lips, mouth and nose. "I can kill you with a mere thought. Without lifting a finger, I can tear you apart from the inside out. With a smile, I can rip your heart and lungs from your body. And with a single breath, I can sear your flesh in fires hotter than hell. So does that answer your question?" He waved a hand and Killeon drew in a gasping breath, coughing hard as he drew in a lungful of air. "All I am asking you to do is befriend him, and once you have, make sure he does exactly what I want him to do."

"An' what if he doesn't wanna be friends?" Killeon asked in a rasping whisper.

"Oh, he will." Belial nudged his head toward the bartender. Killeon glanced at the balding man and noticed his gleaming black eyes before they shifted back to light gray. "We slipped a little something into his drink that should make him pretty susceptible to your charm."

"Why don't you just have one of your lackeys possess him, probably would make things a helluva lot easier," Killeon said as he got to his feet.

"That whole the Ark can't be touched by evil just went right over your head didn't it?" Lucifer heaved another sigh as he shook his head in frustration. "Just do what I told you to do before you force me to hurt you again."

"Fine." Brushing the back of his sleeve across his face, Killeon wiped away any traces of blood, and stalked to the bar. "Mind if I join ya for a drink?" he asked as he took a seat beside Collin.

"Sure, why not." Collin shrugged as he motioned for the bartender to bring Killeon a drink.

XxXxXxXxXxX

After Jax had left Sam's hospital room, Dean pulled up a chair beside the bed and took a seat. For several moments he sat listening to the heart monitor beep out the rhythm of his little brother's heart, and then he once again focused on the sound of Sam's heart beating inside his chest as his blood sluggishly poured through his veins.

"It's funny," he finally uttered to break the unbearable silence in the room, "I can hear your heart beating, Sammy, an' it's slow . . . so damn slow. An' when it skips a beat or two, I can feel it in my own chest." He gripped hold of Sam's hand, and held onto it firmly. "I – I would've been here sooner, but I jus' found out . . . an' I know that it's not a good excuse cause I shoulda known."

Dean drew in a shaky breath, and took another look around the spacious private room that Rowan had no doubt paid for, and swore under his breath. "But I'm here now, Sammy, an' I promise I'm not goin' anywhere until you wake up. An' you will wake up, cause I'll be damned if you stay like this for the rest of your life."

He fell silent again as he watched for any sign that Sam might know that he was there, but his brother remained deathly still. Lightly pressing two fingers against Sam's wrist, Dean felt a slow pulse, and counted off each beat under his breath.

"I've been lookin' after this little kid, Joshua, while I've been away." A faint smile graced his features as he thought of the little shaggy-haired boy with bright blue eyes. "He – he calls me Chipmunk." he chuckled awkwardly, knowing he never would have admitted that to Sam if he was awake. "An' I know you'd laugh your ass off if you heard it, b-but I really kinda like it." His voice broke as a sob caught in his throat. "Jay . . . well, he's special, Sammy. Really special . . . an' someone thought I . . . ." his voice abruptly died away as he glanced heavenward. "Well, actually He thought that I was the kinda person who could take care of him. An' so that's where I've been all this time."

"But I've never been all that far away from ya, little brother," he continued onward, not wanting to hear the deafening silence in the room again. "An' I made a lot of mistakes along the way . . . Jay died cause I wasn't takin' care of him well enough, but they gave me a second chance to make things right. An' angels are real, Sammy . . . I know that must sound as crazy as all hell comin' from me, but I've seen them, an' let's jus' say they're nothin' like the cherubs you see on Hallmark cards." He chuckled as he gripped a tighter hold on Sam's hand. "An' actually, I think Michael is more like the Terminator."

"An' then there's Rowan . . . ." A scowl creased Dean's brow as he bit a his lower lip. The older vampire had been there time and time again when Dean had needed him the most, but that didn't give him the right to keep Dean in the dark about Sam's condition. "He's a vamp, an' was my best friend until about an' hour ago."

Once again, anger welled deep within his heart at the mere thought of the green-eyed vampire. Rowan had had every opportunity in the world to tell him about Sam and the amulet, but he had continuously lied about both. He'd snuck around in the middle of the night and early in the morning to see Sam in the hospital, and never once had he let on that something was wrong.

"Guess I should probably mention that he turned me . . . course I'm hopin' that won't mean you'll be huntin' me down when ya get out of here cause that would really suck."

Dean heaved a sigh, tired of hearing only the sound of his own voice, and silently prayed once again that Sam would open his eyes and speak to him. "Jus' wake up for me, Sammy . . . please. I did all this for you . . . an' it'll mean nothing if I'm the only one left standing in the end."

At the sound of the door opening behind him, Dean turned in his seat, expecting to find Jax standing there, and cursed when he noticed Rowan instead. "Get the hell out of here, Rowan."

"I don't wanna argue with you, Dean, I jus' came to check on him." Rowan slipped into the room, but stayed at the entrance.

"Seems as if you've been doing that quite a bit behind my back, you sonuvabitch." Dean's fangs ripped through his gums as his anger boiled to the surface. "An' now you have the freakin' never to show your face here after what you did."

"All I did was try an' protect you, an' made sure he had the best care possible until I could figure out what Lucifer did to him," the elder vampire hastily defended himself.

"You know your mind is so twisted that you can't even see that what you did was wrong. An' I gotta say, it's no wonder you're damned for all eternity cause every freakin' thing you come in contact with, you destroy completely."

"That's not true, Dean, an' you know it." Rowan lowered his head, dark shaggy bangs hiding his deep green eyes. "Everything I've done is to help you . . . An' yeah, I lied, an' I'm sorry for that, but I never claimed to be perfect."

"Yeah, cause you're about as far away from being perfect as you are from actually being redeemed for what you did, Judas."

"Huh, so speaks the man who's done nothing but lie to his own brother . . . an' who also sold his soul cause he was so damn pathetic that he jus' couldn't bear the thought of going it alone in the big bad world. So when you're speaking of the eternally damned, better be careful cause you're talkin' about yourself as well."

"You don't know what the hell you're talkin' about." Letting go of Sam's hand, Dean shot to his feet and clenched his fists, wanting nothing more at the moment than to pulverize the smug vampire. "You've been hangin' around for what . . . over two thousand years now, an' I don't see anyone offerin' you any second chances."

"Hmm . . . getting' all vampy on me, Dean?" Rowan smirked, his eyes a dark and dangerous shade of turbulent green. "If you were so damn close to being redeemed for selling your soul, then tell me why you're still a vampire? Cause as I clearly recall there are no vampires in heaven, an' I think I know the Bible a little better than you do."

"You're right," Dean gave a curt nod in agreement, "but I've read enough to know that no matter what you do, you will never be forgiven . . . not by them an' definitely not by me."

Rowan drew in a sharp breath, the unbearable pain caused by Dean's words, clearly evident in his shimmering eyes. "I – I'm jus' gonna," he hitched a thumb over his shoulder, "I'm gonna go . . . I jus' wanted you to know that I never intended to hurt you or Sam . . . I jus' thought . . . I guess it really doesn't matter what I thought cause you've already made up your mind about me. But no matter what you say or do, Dean, you're still my best friend, an' I'll do whatever I have to do to protect you." Without waiting for Dean to respond, he turned on his heel and strode out the door.

Rowan stood outside the door to Sam's room, and lightly rested his head against it. His heart hammered away painfully inside his chest as he recalled everything Dean had said to him. Yet it wasn't the words his friend had spoken that had been his undoing, but the look of pure hatred he saw in Dean's light green eyes. He understood that people often said things in anger that they later regretted, but Dean didn't regret the harsh words he had spoken. He meant them with all his heart.

With head lowered and shoulders drooping, Rowan trudged through the long corridor, and took the stairs to the first floor. He followed the signs to the sanctuary set up for people to find solace and prayer in while their family members suffered somewhere within the hospital's walls. Pushing open the oak door, he headed inside and took a seat in the front row. On a small altar in the front of the room, an old wooden cross stood flanked on either side by candles. Behind the cross a portrait had been painted depicting Jesus' assent to Heaven with several angels surrounding and welcoming him into their embrace.

He bowed his head, and clasped his hands in prayer. "I don't know what to do," he began in a soft voice, then glanced up through lowered lashes at the cross. "I'm tryin' so damn hard, an' it's never good enough . . . an' he's right, everything I touch I somehow manage to screw up, but I never meant to hurt him."

A soft breeze filtered into the room and lightly caressed Rowan on the cheek as it passed by. The candles flickered and then died away, but instead of the room falling into darkness, a warm golden glow filled the expanse.

"A regretful heart is a heart that has found that there are things more important in the world than one's own needs and desire, Judas," came a softly spoken male voice, from directly in front of him. "An' that's nothing to be ashamed of."

Keeping his head lowered, he uttered, "He's never gonna forgive me, but I swear I didn't keep what I knew about Sam a secret to hurt him. I was just trying to protect him."

"I'm pretty sure Dean realizes that, he's just human and therefore allows his emotions to rule over him." The warmth of the male voice spread outward and wrapped itself firmly around Rowan's battered heart. "You can't be too hard on him, Judas, as you were once just like him."

"He's a better man than I'll ever be," Rowan muttered, tears filling his eyes.

"It's true that Dean has a great heart, but he's not without his faults." The heavenly voice chuckled softly. "God only knows how many of the Ten Commandments he's broken, and if it weren't for His grace alone, Dean would be right where you are now."

"How can I fix this?" Rowan chanced a glance up at the golden light, and saw the image of a golden-haired man with soulful brown eyes and scruffy beard. His breath caught in his throat as his heart skipped a beat. "Y-you're jus' like I remember you," he murmured in a hoarse whisper.

"An' you've grown a lot since the last time we spoke face to face."

"I took the amulet," Rowan uttered before he could manage to stop himself, and instantly felt as if some of the burden he had been carrying since he took it was lifted from his shoulders.

"I know you did, but my question to you is do you truly want to die now that you have found purpose in your life once more?"

"I'm just real tired . . . an' things are only getting' worse. I jus' really don't know how much I can take." Rowan lowered his head again, ashamed at his own weakness in front of his long lost friend and savior.

"Dean could be a great force for goodness in this world, but like you he stumbles a lot. He needs someone to guide him an' pull him back when he is about to go too far, an' I leave this task in your hands."

"An' what if I fail?"

There was no hesitation in His voice when He said, "You've heard of the seven vials?"

"From the Bible? Seven angels to release them upon the world right before the end of all things?"

"I don't want to see that happen just yet. When I came the first time, it was to save the world. I haven't given up on that hope. So I'm asking you to put aside whatever happened in the past an' take up My sword to fight as a warrior and save My people before it's too late."

"I think you're asking the wrong man. I'm no one's hero, but you already know that."

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't think you had it in you to be a better man, Rowan. You come to Me seeking forgiveness, and I am offering you redemption sevenfold."

"An' what if I betray you again?" Tears shimmered in Rowan's eyes as he looked up at Jesus.

"Then that is between you and God."


	3. Chapter 3

So another new chappy...I'm hoping that people are still enjoying the series. Thanks for reading and for the really great reviews!! bambers;)

_Chapter Three_

Bobby quietly entered Sam's hospital room, immediately went to Dean's side, and placed a hand on the eldest Winchester's shoulder. "I left Joshua with Rowan so I could come an' see Sam," he said in a hushed voice as he noticed that Jax was asleep in a chair with his arms cradling his head as he rested against the table. "So how's he doing?"

"I dunno know," Dean muttered without glancing up at him. With elbows on his knees, he rested his chin against clasped hands as he watched Sam. "Guess you'd have to ask Rowan cause the hospital staff was left with strict instructions that only he is to get any information regarding his Nephew Sammy. Apparently they grew up together, an' before Rowan's sister Millie died, she practically begged him to take care of her only son."

"An' they actually believed that?" Bobby asked incredulously.

"Yeah, he had all sorts of legal documentation that basically said he was Sam's health care proxy in the event that he couldn't make medical decisions on his own."

"We could take him to another hospital if want," he offered when he heard the sad resignation in Dean's tone, and frowned as he saw the heartbroken man shake his head in response.

"You know he had a special team of doctors flown in just to take of Sammy," Dean said, tears shimmering in his eyes as he finally looked at Bobby. "An' he hired six private nurses so he would have constant care . . . in only two weeks time he's managed to take better care of my brother than I ever could."

Heaving a heavy sigh, Bobby pulled up a chair and sat beside Dean. "He has a lot of money, Dean, that's just the way things are, but that doesn't make him any better than you."

"An' then there's Jax." Dean gestured toward the younger hunter, and a wry smile graced his haggard features as Jax mumbled in his sleep. "From what the nurse said, he hasn't left Sam's side since he was brought into the hospital."

"So? What's that got to do with you, Dean?" Bobby pushed back the brim of his trucker cap so he could look Dean squarely in the eyes. "He's not gonna take your place if that's what yer worried about."

"I'm not so sure about that, Bobby. I've got four months left go, an' that's a helluva long time. What if there's nothin' left for me to come back to?"

Bobby eased back in his seat and crossed his arms as he eyed Sam for a moment then refocused his attention on Dean. "If yer askin' for my opinion, I don't think yer given Sam enough credit. That boy cares about you more than anything . . . he always has, so I don't think a few months is gonna change how he feels about you."

"But what if he doesn't wake up?"

"If I've learned anything in all these years, it's that you can never count a Winchester out. No matter the odds, Sam'll be alright cause he won't let this damn thing beat him."

"You really think so?"

"Son, I'd bet the Colt on it." Bobby smiled but it quickly faded away as he thought about the Colt. From what information he had gathered from Rowan, Lucifer had done something to Sam when Jax was trying to save Becca's life. If he had to venture a guess as to what the demon had done, he would have to say it was probably the same thing he had done to Dean before Joshua saved him. And if that were true then maybe it would be better for all concerned if Sam never woke up. But he would leave that decision to Michael as he had grown far too close to the youngest Winchester over the years to have to decide his fate.

Bobby hitched a thumb over his shoulder as he stood to leave. "I better be gettin' back. Rowan has to be at the airport by five."

"He still headin' to California to look for Collin?" Dean asked, appearing somewhat hurt that the vampire would leave while Sam was in such bad shape.

"No, I guess they were finally able to tracked Collin's cell phone. From what Rowan said, he's somewhere in Wyoming."

Dean quirked a puzzled brow as he bit pensively at his lower lip. "An' he doesn't think it's the least bit strange that just last week Collin was supposedly in Kansas, and then up until a few hours ago he was supposedly in California, and now he's in Wyoming?"

"Guess when you've got the kinda money they have, it's not all that unusual."

"Did anyone check the flight records?"

"Yeah, but there was no record of Collin ever boarding any plane in the last few weeks."

Dean mulled over what Bobby had said for a moment longer, and then shook his head. "Tell him that someone is sending him on a wild goose chase . . . no, wait . . . ." Dean paused for a moment, and thought a little more about the locations Collin had supposedly traveled to in the last few weeks. "Sonuvabitch . . . Sam went to school in Palo Alto. We lived in Kansas. An' the Devil's Gate is in Wyoming . . . Now Sam's in some kinda freak unexplainable coma . . . you damn well know that can't just be a coincidence."

"True." Bobby scrubbed his hand through his beard as he eyed Sam. "So the question is, are we really trackin' Collin or are they tryin' to get Rowan to search these places for another reason?"

"Well, if they are I'd have to say that Rowan must have some idea what they're lookin' for."

"But if they are, what was the point of doing this to Sam?" Bobby asked, although he already knew the answer to his own question.

"I dunno, but I want you to keep an eye on Rowan." Dean scowled as he once again thought of how the vampire had knowingly kept Sam's condition a secret from him. "I don't trust him."

"Dean," Bobby heaved a sigh, "I hate to have to say this cause he's a vamp an' all, but I think in his own way he was tryin' to protect you. An' I can't fault him for that cause when it comes to Sam, you have blinders on to everything else."

"Jus' keep an' eye on him, Bobby," Dean muttered, not wanting to listen to older hunter defend something he should rightfully want to kill. "Go with him to Wyoming if you have to, but don't let him out of your sight."

"An' what about Joshua? Should I just take him along, too?" Bobby quirked a brow as he reminded Dean of his responsibility to the little boy. "You wanna stay here with Sam, an' I can understand that, but don't ask me to put Josh's life in danger cause yer pissed at Rowan. I jus' won't do it."

"I'm not askin' you to put Jay's life in danger," Dean hastily defended himself. "Rowan would never hurt him."

"Guess you must trust him a little more than you're lettin' on then." Without waiting for Dean to argue the point any further, Bobby turned on his heel and left the room.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Rowan pulled out a map of the United States, grabbed a marker from the desk drawer and circled Wyoming, California and Kansas, then sat back in his chair and studied it. He then drew lines connecting the three of them to form a triangle. Next, he placed five stars on each of the old frontier churches Samuel Colt had built in Wyoming, one star next to an old church located in Palo Alto, and another one in Lawrence, Kansas. He studied the points on the map a moment longer and then swore under his breath.

"Damn it, they can't be searching for it. No one knows it's whereabouts but me." As his mind began to wander back to the time he had visited each of those three locations, he realized there was one other person who might know about his secret. "That sonuvabitch better not have told Lucifer."

Yanking his cell phone out of his pocket, he scrolled down until he found the number he was looking for and jabbed the button. After three rings, a familiar voice answered. "Seth, it's Rowan, where the hell are you?"

"Hey, Rowan . . . long time no hear," Seth replied, and Rowan could almost hear the smirk in the younger vampire's voice. "Thought maybe you lost my number after that little incident in Utah."

"You still scavenging dying mens' remains for food, Winchester?" Rowan couldn't help but taunt as he recalled how Seth chose to survive without actually having to kill a human on his own. "You're probably quite the little ambulance chaser, I'd imagine."

"I'd guess that would depend on if you're still trying to play at being a saint, cause eatin' roadkill really sucks."

"You know damn well I promised your brother I'd let you live as long as you never killed anyone, an' I've never broken a promise to him yet."

"Good to know that Michael Dean was useful for something." Seth's tone turned low and menacing as he continued onward, "Cause it's his damn fault that I'm a vamp. They wouldn't have come after me if it weren't for him an' Thomas Samuel."

"Look I didn't call to argue with you about your brothers," Rowan interjected, his anger rising at the idea that Seth would blame either of his brothers for what had happened to him. "Remember those artifacts you helped me hide . . . you didn't happen to mention them to anyone did you?"

"An' have you rip my head off for it," Seth chuckled, "I'm not that stupid, Rowan."

"An' you've never tried to go anywhere near them?"

"Hmmm . . . let me think." Seth hesitated for a moment, and laughed again. "Yeah, I did cause I really wanted to burn all to Hell for touching them. Again, I'm not that stupid."

Rowan scratched his head as he contemplated what Seth had said, and reluctantly had to see his point. In true Winchester fashion, Seth had always kept well below the radar, and now that he thought about it, he highly doubted the younger vampire would purposely seek out Lucifer or Killeon on his own.

"Where are you?" Rowan asked as he studied the map again.

"Jersey."

"I have a job I need you to do, so be on the next plane to North Carolina."

"Yeah, that's so not gonna happen, you know I don't fly . . . ever."

Rowan chuckled as he recalled Seth's irrational fear of heights, and then laughed all the harder when he realized that Dean had the same fear as his ancestor. "What is it with you Winchesters and the fear of flying? It's not like you're gonna die, so I'm really not gettin' what the big deal is."

"So speaks the vamp who's afraid of bats an' bugs." Seth retorted, and then started laughing himself.

"I – I'm not afraid of them," Rowan involuntarily shuddered as he imagined the creepy-crawlers all over him, "I jus' – you know what, I don't care how you manage it, just be here by morning. Got me?"

"Thought you didn't want me anywhere near either of my only two living relatives? And as I've heard through the grapevine that you're now in tight with Dean, you'll have to forgive me for wondering why you've now changed your mind."

"Not that it's any of your damn business, but Dean doesn't want me anywhere near him or Sam, so I need someone who can watch out for them while I look for Collin."

"Ahhh . . . sure, I can do that, nothing like being able to put all my years of schooling to good use." Seth groaned.

"Don't worry, Seth, this is right up your alley," Rowan quickly reassured. "Sam's in some kind of coma an' no one can figure out why, an' so I thought I might as well call in the best to figure it out."

"Huh, was it caused by trauma or some underlying medical condition?" Seth asked, now sounding more intrigued by the prospect of meeting his two relatives.

"He got knocked out in a fight, an' hit his head."

"Anything show up on the CT-Scan or MRI?"

"Not that I know of."

"Does he open his eyes or make any sort of spontaneous movement at all?"

"No," Rowan said, and smiled in relief, knowing that Seth was now very interested in Sam's condition.

"Hmmm . . . any response to painful stimuli?"

"No, nothing."

"That's not good. From what you're telling me, it sounds as if he's only rating a three on the Glasgow Coma Scale," Seth said grimly. "How long's he been like this?"

"About two weeks."

"And they did a electroencephalogram?"

"Yeah, I think so?" Rowan said, although he had no idea what that test actually determined.

"Did anyone happen to say that the results from that particular test were encouraging?"

"Not to the best of my knowledge."

"Okay, so here's your problem, Rowan," Seth heaved a sigh, and then began to explain, "A rating of three pretty much means Sam's screwed all to hell in the brain function department. Just from the information you've shared, I would have to say that the extent of brain damage is massive, but I can't know for certain without examining him."

"So you'll come then?" Rowan asked hopefully.

"Not sure what good it'll do, but yeah, what the hell. I think a family reunion is a great idea."

"Yeah, about that . . . I don't want Dean to know who you really are, so don't even think of mentioning your last name to him."

"Huh, good enough to try an' cure Sam, but not good enough to be called family, right?" Seth's tone once again turned menacing, as he added, "Sure thing, Rowan, but you never know when that little tid-bit of information might just happen to leak out." He then hung up before Rowan had a chance to warn him any further on the matter.

XxXxXxXxXxX

At the sound of the door opening and then closing, Dean lifted his head off of folded arms, and shifted in his chair to see who had entered Sam's hospital room. A young, dark-haired doctor, who looked to be no older than Sam walked over to the bed, studied his clipboard for a moment, and then smiled at Dean.

"I'm Doctor Wi-Winters, but most of my patients just call me Seth." He grinned cockily, hazel eyes dancing with light-hearted mirth. "An' most of them also don't actually think I am old enough to be a real doctor, but I assure you, I am more than qualified to take over your brother's care."

"Wait," Dean raised a brow in confusion and suspicion, "why are you taking over my brother's care? He has a lot of doctors already."

"I'm sure he does, Mr. Osborne." Seth rolled his eyes as he glanced down at Sam's chart again, flipping through the pages before once again looking up at Dean. "But I graduated at the top of my class at Harvard, and I'm Head of Neurosurgery at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, so I'm pretty sure that makes me more qualified to take care of your brother than some first year intern."

"Rowan hired you, didn't he?" Dean scowled, barely able to keep the contempt from his tone.

"You mean, Mr St. Christen?" Seth asked as he moved around to the far side of the bed, pried back one of Sam's eyelids, and flashed a penlight into his eye, then did the same thing with the other one. "No, I owed him a favor. He once helped my two brothers' out of a tight jam, and pretty much saved their lives. So how could I possibly refuse him when family means everything to me."

Seth lifted Sam's hand, and dug a fingernail into the edge of his thumbnail, waited a moment to see if he would respond, and frowned when he remained deathly still. Then he fisted his hand and vigorously rubbed the young man's sternum, hoping the painful stimuli would evoke some sort of response, but again Sam failed to react. "How much have you been told about your brother's condition, Mr. Osborne?"

"Just that he's in a coma, an' they're not sure why."

Grabbing a chair, Seth moved it to where Dean was sitting, and took a seat himself. "Well, here's the thing, I could lie to you, an' say Sam's gonna be fine, but I don't want you to hang onto false hopes."

"Wh-what are you tryin' to say?" Dean managed in a hoarse whisper, eyes brimming with tears as he took a hold of Sam's hand in a firm grip.

"I've looked over Sam's CT-Scan, MRI, and electroencephalogram, and the prognosis from these tests isn't good."

"I don't even know what those things are." Dean swallowed hard against the painful lump in his throat. "An' my little brother's survived worse than this before. So I'm not about to give up on him now."

"I'll try and explain this so you can better understand your brother's condition." Seth took a pen out of his pocket, and drew a wavy line on one of the pages of his chart. "In a person's brain, there is electrical activity that can be be measured by an EEG, which usually looks like the wavy line I just drew. This is normal. It means the brain is sending out signals for the body to react to stimuli such as pain and cold." Seth paused for a moment to allow Dean time to comprehend what he was trying to say, and then drew a straight line right below the curvy line. "This is basically what your brother's EEG looks like." He gestured to the flat line, and then looked to Dean. "There is no brain function, and clinically, I would have to categorize him as brain dead."

"But he – he's gonna get better, right?" Dean asked through his tears, realizing how stupid it sounded even as the words tumbled from his trembling lips, but couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Guess you could always pray for a miracle, but medically speaking, there's really nothing I can do for him at this point."

"Th-there has to be something you can do . . . there has to be." Dean abruptly pushed back in his seat, and leapt to his feet. As anger and fear coursed through the length of his body, his fangs ripped through his gums, and he snarled as he grabbed the doctor by his lab coat, and dragged him to his feet. "Do something to help him."

"Oh, this is priceless." Seth smirked as he gestured toward Dean's mouth. "Rowan conveniently failed to mention we have more than just one thing in common." His hazel eyes gleamed, pupils narrowing to mere slits as he bared his fangs. "Guess bad blood must run in the family."

"You're a . . . I don't freakin' believe this." Dean swung Seth around and slammed him up against the wall. "Rowan sent a goddamn vamp to give me medical advice."

"No, he sent one of the best medical minds in the country to help your brother, an' it just so happens that I'm also a vamp . . . which means I've had an awful lot of time on my hands to study."

"Who the hell are you?" Dean slammed the vampire against the wall again, eliciting another grin from him.

"Do you really wanna know, Dean," Seth taunted as he gripped hold of Dean's wrists, and forcefully pried them away from his lab coat. "Cause Rowan told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't to tell ya, but if you really want to know, I will."

Dean eyed the taller man for a moment, shifted his gaze to Sam and then looked back at Seth again, and for the first time, noticed the similarities between them. Both had shaggy, dark brown hair, hazel eyes, similar bone structure, and could easily pass as brothers. "You can't possibly be related to us . . . it's just not possible."

"Guess you could say I'm a very distant relation."

"You're lying. You have to be lying . . . an' I'm gonna kill you, then I'm going after Rowan for sending you here," Dean vowed as he forcefully rammed the vampire into the wall again.

"Wow, for some reason I'd imagined this little family reunion to be slightly awkward an' emotional . . . maybe a few tears on your part, but I gotta say that I'm happy as all hell to see that you inherited my spunky wild side instead of Michael Dean's sappiness."

"Get the hell out of here an' don't you dare come back or I will kill you."

"Is that anyway to talk to family, Dean?" Seth taunted, with a quirk of a brow. "Out of the goodness of my heart, I came here to help your brother, so the least you could do is try an' be nice."

"No, you're here cause Rowan told you to come, cause no matter what anyone actually thinks of him, they always do what he wants them to do."

"Does that include you, too? From what I've heard, Rowan's got you wrapped around his little finger." Seth shoved Dean out of the way, straighten his lab coat with a quick tug on the edges of the garment, and then pushed past him to head for the door. At the entrance, he turned once more to look at Sam, and frowned. "Just remember this, little Nephew, I'm family an' Rowan's not. There's a reason why people don't like him. He lies, cheats, and does pretty much whatever he wants to do. He'll do whatever it takes to get exactly what he wants from you. An' he won't care if he hurts you or Sam in the process."

"You're not telling me anything I don't already know."

"That's good to know," Seth said with a curt nod of his head. "An' for what it's worth, I wish there was something I could do for your brother, but the tests don't lie, Dean. He's not going to get any better than this." He motioned toward Sam's prone form, and then added, "You need to make peace with it, an' do the right thing by Sam cause I'm pretty damn sure he wouldn't wanna live like this."

"I'm not gonna let him die."

"I know you don't want to let him go, but what he's doing right now is not living. An' he could live for years like this. So ask yourself if you really want your brother to live the rest of his life hooked up to these machines."


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks for reading and for the awesome reviews. bambers;)_

_Chapter Four_

Rowan was on his feet the moment Bobby strode through the front door, and rushed over to him. "How's Sam doing?" he asked, and held his breath as he waited for the archangel to respond.

"It's in God's hands."

"Don't give me that bullshit, Uriel, you're a freakin' archangel, you should be able to do something to help him."

"I'm sure I probably could," the angel conceded as he tipped back his trucker cap to look Rowan square in the eyes. "But until I can understand exactly why Lucifer did this to him, I think it's safer for all concerned that he remains the way he is."

"An' it doesn't even bother you in the slightest that you helped raise him? Damn it, he didn't do anything wrong, so how is it fair to let him suffer?" He paused to allow Bobby a chance to reply, but when the angel said nothing, he shook his head in disgust. "An' tell me how it's fair to let Dean suffer? He's done everything God's asked him to do. He deserves to have his brother back alive an' healthy when his deal with Michael is through."

"You think I like this any better than you do?" A scowl furrowed Bobby's brow as he brushed past Rowan and strode to the desk and pointed at the map Rowan had been studying when he'd walked in the house. "Somehow they're planning on using Sam to get the Ark for them, an' it was your job to keep it hidden until Dean needed it."

"He's got demon blood in him, he can't touch it," Rowan argued, his voice rising in frustration. He could understand the angel's concern, but knew if anything happened to Sam, Dean would never forgive him.

"No, but Jax sure as hell can, an' that boy would probably do anything Sam asked him to do.

"Please, I'm beggin' you, just heal Sam an' I swear I'll make sure he never goes anywhere near the Ark."

"I'm sorry, Rowan, but I just can't do that." Bobby traced a path from Kansas, to Palo Alto, and then circled his finger around Wyoming. "You're son's traveled quite the distance in the last few weeks, almost as if he were on a mission."

Not missing the accusation in Uriel's tone, Rowan swallowed had. "I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong. Collin would never help Lucifer find the key."

"How can you be so sure?" The angel lifted a brow as he shifted to look Rowan in the eyes. "You don't even know your own son so how could you possibly know what he's capable of doing?"

"Jus' let me find him," Rowan's tone turned to pleading as he realized what the archangel intended to do to his son. "I'll find him an' bring him home. I promise I will."

"We can't afford to put our faith in your promises, Rowan. Gabriel and Raphael have been sent to put a stop to him before he has the chance to find the last parts of the key."

"Th-their gonna kill my son?" Rowan said in a breathy whisper, tears shimmering in his eyes. His stomach clenched, heart pounding furiously against his chest as he desperately tried to figure out a way to save his son from the angels' divine justice.

"It would be better for him to die now than to allow him to do something he would never be forgiven for."

"But I'm telling you I can stop him," Rowan's voice rose in anger as his fangs ripped through his gums. His pupils constricted to mere slits as his eyes gleamed an intense shade of fiery green. A low growl tore from his lips as he turned his back on the archangel, and noticed Joshua standing on the stairs. Lowering his head, he hastily reined in his raging emotions, and when he glanced up again, all traces of anger had disappeared from his features. "Hey, Josh, how long have you been standing there?" He crouched and held out his arms to the little shaggy-haired boy.

Joshua rushed to Rowan and wrapped his arms around the vampire's neck. "Won't let nothin' happen ta yer son, Uncle Rowan." A sob caught in Joshua's throat as he added, "I take care of him fer ya."

"Don't worry, Josh," Rowan smiled wryly through his own tears, "I'd fight my way through Heaven and Hell to protect my son . . . I'm not about to let him die."

"There's no way you can stop it from happening, Rowan," the angel warned, placing a comforting hand on Rowan's shoulder, but he shrugged it away. "It was too late for you to save Collin the moment he walked out of this house."

With a deadly glint in his eyes, Rowan rose to his full height and swung to glare at the angel. "If my son dies . . . if he dies, Lucifer and all the demons of Hell can have free reign of this God forsaken world, an' I'd be right there leading their army."

"That would mean you'd have to kill Dean first," Uriel challenged as he stood and protectively pushed Joshua behind him. His eyes lit with blue fire as he moved closer to Rowan."Are you actually prepared to do that?"

"You're saying that as if his life would be more important to me than my own son's." A mirthless laugh slipped past Rowan's lips as he clutched a hold of the amulet in his pocket. "Well, let me make this perfectly clear for you, Uriel." Leaning in so their faces were mere inches apart, he sneered. "If you don't call off your mercenaries, I will rip Dean's throat apart an' stand there watchin' as his blood pours from him. Then I'll go after Jax, an' I promise you, what I do to your golden boy will make what I do to Dean look merciful."

XxXxXxXxXxX

"How's he doing?" Jax asked from the doorway of Sam's hospital room, and Dean shifted in his seat to see the younger hunter leaning against the door frame. "Any change?"

"No." Dean lowered his head, and wiped the tears from his eyes. "I-I did all this for him, an' it didn't make a damn bit of difference . . . he's still gonna die on me."

"I could try ta heal him again, Dean," Jax offered as he came to stand beside Dean, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I won't give up on him, an' I'll be damned if I let ya do it either."

"Please, don't let him die on me, Jax," Dean uttered as he gripped hold of Sam's hand, and shuddered at how cold his little brother's skin felt. "I don't care what power you have to use, jus' bring him back to me."

"Alright." Jax gave a slight nod, and then gestured toward Sam's chest. "Place your hand on his heart."

Dean hastily stood and did as Jax had said. Jax took a deep calming breath as he visualized Sam alive and well, and sitting beside him in the Impala. His hand began to glow with soft warm light as he rested it on top of Dean's hand. Heat radiated from Jax's fingertips as his own heart clenched painfully. Faintly, he felt Dean grip hold of him as his legs buckled.

"Is it working, Jax?"

"D-don't know." Squeezing his eyes closed, Jax screamed as stark pain ripped through his forehead. Strange images flashed through mind, and he instantly understood that they were Sam's memories.

"M-memories . . . oh gguhh . . . it – it h-hurt . . . ." He gripped hold of his forehead with his free hand as he continued to hold firmly onto Dean's hand.

"What kind of memories?" Dean shouted, a glimmer of hope igniting within him. "Are they Sam's?"

"Th-the C-Colt . . . S-Samuel." Jax cried out again, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Y-you . . . R-Row . . . Rowan's th-there."

"Rowan had something to do with this?" Dean's heart sank to the pit of his stomach, terrified that he had put Sam's life in danger by befriending the vampire.

"N-No." Jax shook his head emphatically. "L-Lucifer . . . h-he's pushin' – pushin' me out." Another scream ripped from Jax as his hand flew away from Sam's chest. Dropping to his knees, Jax struggled to draw in a ragged breath. After taking several deep breaths, he finally uttered, "H-he's in Sam's m-mind, an' he's not lettin' go until h-he gets what he wants."

Dean grabbed hold of Jax and hauled him to his feet. "What the hell do you mean, Lucifer's inside Sam's mind?"

"I-I saw you there." Jax searched his mind, trying to recall all the details he'd gathered from Sam's memories. "It was snowing . . . an' you were on horses."

"Impossible, we've never been on horses."

"I'm not makin' it up, it's what I saw, Dean."

"Why was Rowan there?" Dean asked, and held his breath as he waited for an answer.

"I dunno, but he couldn't stand you for some reason, an' it bugged the hell out of you."

"How can that possibly be in Sam's memories, he doesn't even know that me an' Rowan are friends."

"It's really weird, Dean." Jax jerked free of Dean's grasp and took a seat. "Nothin' looks familiar. It's like everything's so wide open, an' everyone's dressed all strange . . . almost like cowboys."

Dean furrowed a brow in confusion as he tried to think of any good reason why he would dress up like a cowboy. "Like we're dressin' up for Halloween?"

"No." Jax shook his head. "Like you belonged in a different time."

Dropping down onto the chair beside Jax, Dean mopped a hand through his hair. "You mentioned the Colt . . . do you mean a different time like Sam was alive when the Colt was made?"

Jax was silent for a moment, then he nodded and said, "I know yer probably gonna think I'm outta my mind, but I think you both were."


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the long delay, life getting in the way of writing is a real bitch sometimes. Thanks for reading and for the awesome reviews!! bambers;)

_Chapter Five_

"So, are you telling me that Lucifer somehow sent Sam back in time, an' that's why he's dying?" Dean knew Lucifer was powerful, but he couldn't believe that he had the kind of power it would take to alter time. "That's just all kinds of crazy, Jax."

"It's what I saw, Dean." Jax swallowed hard, not able to meet Dean's probing gaze, and Dean understood that he was purposely holding something back from him.

"What aren't you telling me?" Dean's breath caught in his throat, fearing the worst when Jax slid out of his chair and trudged to window and stared out of it. "What is it?"

"I don't know if what he's remembering is real, but even if it's not, it's not good."

"What do you mean?"

With a heavy sigh, Jax walked to the bed and slumped down onto the edge of it. Bowing his head, he stared overly long at his clasped hands, and thought of how he could best explain another of his newly acquired gifts. _How do I tell him that I saw a glimpse of the future as well as the past, an' that it doesn't look good for Sam? More importantly, how am I suppose to stop it from happening? _

"Jax?" Dean prodded, after several moments of lengthy silence. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"I didn't know he had demon blood in him . . . he should've told me that," he mumbled more to himself than to Dean, but the eldest Winchester hastily came to his brother's defense anyway.

"That doesn't mean anything, he's still Sam. He'd never hurt anyone intentionally."

"I'm not sayin' he would, Dean, I'm jus' sayin' it's gonna get a whole helluva lot harder for him ta remain the good guy in the future." He lifted his eyes to meet Dean's, and saw the same look of worry that he knew was reflected in his own. "He's really powerful - I mean, really powerful, an' I don't know if it'll be enough that he wants ta do the right thing."

"So does that mean he's gonna live?"

"I dunno." Jax chewed at his thumbnail, contemplating how to answer the question without giving away his fears of what might happen if Sam did live. "It was like I could see two separate futures. One with Sam in it, an' one without . . . an' I dunno which is real - or maybe they're both just meant ta confuse the hell out of me, an' neither of them are real."

"So not helpful, Jax." Dean wearily pushed himself to his feet and set to pacing. "What good are all your powers if you don't even know how to use them?"

"What if he came back wrong?" he blurted out before he could stop himself, and cursed under his breath when Dean swung around to glare at him. "I - I mean . . . what if for all yer best intentions an' his - well, ya made a deal with a demon ta save him, an' there has ta be some sort of repercussions for that."

"No, he was fine . . . there was nothing wrong with him, an' he's not gonna go all darkside on me."

Jax lowered his head to the side, hoping that by looking away, he wouldn't be able to read the eldest Winchester's thoughts so clearly, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't manage to block them out. Squeezing his eyes shut, Jax pressed his palms against the sides his head as Dean's fears and self-loathing pounded mercilessly at his temples. "I can read yer mind, Dean," he uttered brokenly, tears blurring his vision. "I know you've been as scared as all hell since that damn demon warned ya about it. An' if there's a chance that he's gonna . . . I don't know if it would be better. . . ."

"Better if he was dead," Dean hissed through clenched teeth, brows furrowing in scarcely controlled anger. "Is that what you mean?"

"That's not what I - "

"Get the hell out of here." Nudging his head toward the door, he took a menacing step in Jax's direction. "Get out now an' don't come back."

"Dean, I didn't mean . . . ya have ta understand what I saw, it - "

"I don't care what you saw or what you think Sam might do if he lives - you don't know him. You don't know anything about him at all."

"I know him better than you think," Jax uttered as he slowly rose from the bed and trudged to the door. With his hand on the door handled he hesitated and drew in a shaky breath. "Who do ya thinks been with him all this time while you haven't been around?" Sensing the hunter's eyes on him, he pivoted on his heel and glared at him. "You weren't the one who drove him ta the hospital when he sliced his wrists open, an' you weren't there ta stop him from pulling the trigger, so I'm guessin' right about now, I know him a helluva lot better than you do."

Although he'd instantly regretted telling Dean about Sam's suicide attempts, and felt as if someone had kicked him in the gut as he saw the look of excruciating pain in the older man's green eyes, he was too angry to apologize. "He may be yer brother, but he's the only family I've got, an' I'm not gonna let you take him from me . . . I've already lost too much, an' I refuse ta let anyone take anything else away from me." Without giving Dean a chance to tell him to go to hell, he flung the door open and stormed from the room.

After Jax left, it took Dean all of two seconds to do an about face and hurried to Sam's side. _He's lying, Sam would never do that . . . he has to be lying._ He took hold of both his brother's hands, flipped them over, and drew in a staggering breath as he noticed the raised vertical scars on his wrist. Feeling as if someone had slammed a fist into his stomach, his breath exited him a heated rush, and he dropped down onto the hospital bed as he continued to stare at the proof that Jax had been telling the truth.

"Why the hell would you do this, Sammy?" he murmured, carefully tracing his fingertips over the ridge of the long scar. "You weren't supposed to . . . how could you do this - God, what did I do?"

"What did you expect, Dean?" came Michael's voice from directly behind Dean. "The guilt he was feeling was eating him alive, an' he just wanted to be free of it . . . free of the pain."

"Not now," Dean uttered is a hoarse, raspy whisper, tears blurring his vision as he continued to stare at the jagged mark on his brother's wrist. "If you've got even an ounce of compassion in your miserable heart, you'll leave me the hell alone."

"I know you think me cruel, Dean, but I'm not here to cause you any more pain." Michael moved to stand beside Dean and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Angels wept as your brother lost his way, an' I'm not ashamed to say that I made sure Jax would find him both times."

"Somehow I find that very hard to believe," Dean murmured as he tilted his head to glance up at the hulking angel.

Michael knelt on one knee before Dean, and gracefully bowed his head. "Jax had every intention of using every bit of hot water when he went in to take his shower, but the water ran cold after only three minutes . . . I intervened on your behalf as I made you a promise that you would be with your brother when your deal was over."

"Am I supposed to thank you for saving him then just to let him die now?" The contempt in Dean's tone was unmistakable as he glared at the archangel. "Or was this all just another lesson I'm supposed to learn . . . I can't save him, an' you're gonna force me to watch him die again?"

"I am hard on you, Dean," Michael conceded with a forced smile. "An' I'm not gonna apologize for that." He fell silent for a moment, resting his clasped hand against his thigh as if in prayer. Then he looked up in to Dean's eyes, and Dean's breath lodged in his throat as he saw tears slipping down the angel's cheeks. "What you fail to understand is that in my eyes . . . the eyes of an angel who has been chosen to lead the greatest army of them all, there is no greater sin than selling your soul no matter how worthy the cause."

"My brother didn't deserve to die," Dean hastily defended his actions.

"An' I would argue that neither did you."

"I was supposed to protect him," he argued, shifting uneasily in his seat under the archangel's close scrutiny.

"I know this is going to sound callous, but he was already dead, what the hell did you think you were protecting him from when you sold your soul?"

"Things don't just stop coming after you cause you're dead."

"I see." Michael gave a nod of acknowledgment. "So you were protecting him from the angels that had gathered him into their embrace?" He lowered hi voice as he raised a brow. "He hadn't done anything wrong, Dean . . . . He was at peace."

"And now?" Dean asked, pressing his eyes closed against the saddened expression on the angel's face. Unwillingly, he recalled Sam's unexplained disappearance, and the trail of dead hunters he had followed before he found his little brother. When he and Bobby had finally caught up with Sam, he'd witnessed him shooting a little girl with the Colt. Luckily, she had survived, but he couldn't discount all those who hadn't been so fortunate. "He - he killed all those people . . . is Jax right? Did he come back wrong - d-did I damned my brother's soul by bringing him back?"

"That's not an easy question to answer." Michael stood and took a seat beside Dean. Resting a hand on Sam's chest directly above his heart, he closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in deeply. "Would he have been better off if you had left him as he was - definitely. But have you damned his soul . . . that is yet to be determined."

Gut twisting with the pain of certainty, Dean raked a hand through his hair. "Did he kill all those hunters? Bela?"

"That is not for me to say," Michael responded evasively, leaving Dean with little doubt that his brother had murdered them all. "Why don't you ask Rowan? He was there, he knows the truth of what happened to them."

"I'm not asking that selfish sonuvabitch anything," Dean snarled, anger once again ignited as he thought of how Rowan would have let Sam die without ever mentioning it to him.

"Selfish?" Michael scoffed, his brows furrowing slightly as he crossed his arms over his expansive chest. "I've known Rowan for a lot longer than you, an' yes at first he was selfish - but that word would never come into play whereas you are concerned in his life. Much like you are with your brother, everything he does is to try and protect you. Granted, he may not always go about things in the right way, but he would give up pretty much everything to keep you safe."

"I never asked him to, an' I'm not about to forgive him, so you're just wasting your breath." With hands firmly clenched, Dean leapt to his feet and stalked a back and forth path in front of the angel. There was no denying all the things Rowan had done for him, but there had always been the motivation of gaining Dean's amulet once his deal had come to an end. That motivation tainted every good deed he had done, and made Dean continuously question their friendship. "There's a reason for everything he does, an' it has nothing to do with friendship."

"Maybe not in your eyes," Michael uttered after a momentary pause. "But those scars on his back tell me another story entirely."

Dean stopped short, reminded of the barely healing marks that covered Rowan's entire back. It had been several weeks since he'd accidentally buried the vampire believing him to be dead, and when he and Jason had unearthed him, the bloodied wounds on his back had materialized. Rowan had kept them a secret, and although Dean had suspected something was wrong with him, it wasn't until Bobby had told him about them that Dean discovered to what extent he was injured. The vicious wounds had become badly infected, and even with constant care they still had not healed, yet Rowan still adamantly refused to tell him how they had happened.

"What happened to him?" Dean managed to choke out, a sharp pang of guilt tearing away at his resolve to never forgive the vampire.

"Let's just say he was a much better friend to you than you're acting toward him at the moment."

"Those scars are because of me?" Swallowing hard against the painful lump in his throat, he lowered his head. "Tell me what happened."

"It's not allowed."

"But he could tell me if he wanted to?"

"But he won't."

Dean opened his mouth to say something more, but at the sound of the door opening, he snapped it shut and swung to find Rowan standing there. He turned back to find Michael had conveniently chosen that moment to disappear. "Figures," he muttered under his breath as he refocused his attention on the vampire. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm leaving an' I just wanted to . . . ." Rowan's voice trailed off as he glanced beyond Dean to look at Sam. It appeared for a moment as if he might take a tentative step into the room, but then stopped himself. Instead, he chose to lean against the door frame, crossing his arms protectively in front of himself. "I just wanted you to know you can use my place for as long as you need it. Josh will be safe there . . . Bobby's taking care of him."

"You're leaving?" Dean swallowed hard, not quite able to meet Rowan's gaze.

"Yeah, not that you care, but they're gonna kill my son." He hesitated, drawing in a shaky breath as he waited for Dean to respond in some manner, but when he failed to do so, he continued. "I know you think I deserve every bad thing they can throw my way, but he never hurt you or anyone else an' doesn't deserve to die just because he had the sad misfortune to have me as a father."

Dean's lips parted slightly, wanting to say something, but couldn't manage to get the words past the tight knot lodged firmly in his throat. Although Michael hadn't told him the details of what had happened to Rowan, there was now no doubt in Dean's mind that whatever torture he had endured, he had done it to protect him.

"I just . . . well, I thought maybe . . . never mind, it's not important." Reaching into his pocket, he yanked something out and tossed it to him. Dean's fingers seized around the small object and as he opened his hand to look at it, his eyes widened in confusion. "Take care of yourself, Dean."

Dean stared long and hard at the amulet, and cursed under his breath. Michael had told him that Rowan would only give back the amulet if he found something he wanted more than he wanted to die, and Dean truly believed he would never give it back.

But now he was staring at the proof that there was something the vampire wanted more than death – He wanted to remain Dean's friend. _He wants my damn forgiveness and friendship more than he wants to die. _

"Rowan, I - " The words died abruptly on his lips, stomach clenching painfully as he glanced up at the empty doorway. Rushing to the door, he peered down the length of the corridor in both directions, but the vampire was gone.


End file.
